Stage Fright: The Cyber Panic Attack
Friday, March 8, 2019.
Soon all of this rain & snow will be yesterday's news...We will put on bright spring colors, show off our biceps in cute t-shirts, take exciting summer vacations and forget how cold & miserable we have been.... it is funny how our brains just move forward in that respect, like there's no looking back. I mean, I can barely remember what a sunny day feels like! Can you?
The start of a new season also means that a fresh crop of new ideas will come to life on the site. And..... as usual, like a kind of 'cyber panic attack', my brain (or maybe it's my heart) hits the crisis button & a flood of questions rushes in, leaving me a little breathless:
Will anyone care about this? Am I really helping anyone with my work? Are they going to laugh at me? Will I have to go back to working a 'regular' job again?
I don't usually post too much about myself on the site or on social media. But I'm starting to realize that keeping so much private isn't protecting me from harm as much as it is cutting me off from the joy of getting to know you guys & listening to your stories. Stories like how you discovered my site, where you are going to wear your new clothes & how nice it felt when a stranger complimented your Blade+Blue shirt. Those stories remind me that I am not alone in this & maybe more importantly, they remind me of how similar we all are when it all boils down.
Many of these thoughts came to the surface yesterday while I was playing with my doggies at Goat Rock Beach. Goat Rock is in western Sonoma County, about 10 minutes from my home and it has become my 'happy place'. For starters, there is no cell phone reception .. Ha Ha.
But yesterday when I was surrounded by such profound & pure beauty, things just began to make more sense. Mother nature took my worry, anxiety & self-doubt and threw them out into the Pacific Ocean.
How can I be scared when I am doing exactly what I have always wanted to do? I know that I am a lucky man ... even though I forget sometimes.
Here I am with Gavin (the little one) and Blade (the ball chaser) at Goat Rock Beach on a magical day that screwed my head back on straight.